Television on Christmas day is a curiosity. Everyone has their differing routines regarding when presents are opened, when lunch is consumed and when it is acceptable to pass out on the sofa in front of a warm fire, ignoring whatever is on the telly. But ignore I couldn’t, instead, I documented my viewing and opinions in handy 160-character chunks. So, this is a shortcut to what went on whilst you dozed off…
Is today the only day in the year that ITV2 aren’t showing About A Boy? How will we cope? Oh wait, they are.
Christmas morning TV – Missed the myriad cartoons, now have a choice from Friends repeats or “Wasn’t 2009 brilliant?” style shows.
… or Top Gear on Dave, but then again, Dave’s habits of a lifetime cannot be changed – even for the anniversary of Christ’s birth.
Settled with Olive the Other Reindeer – quaintly festive and quite moralistic, but charming nonetheless.
Flicked over to BidTV – the presenter sounds like Alan Partridge laughing manically in the face of crippling depression. Ho ho ho.
Thank God that there’s only an hour before Channel 4 show no-one’s favourite film, Honey I Blew Up the Kid.
The Santa Clause (BBC1) vs Santa Claus (ITV). Who will win this battle of classic Christmas movies? Who cares?
Ooh, Top of the Pops Christmas Special with this year’s biggest stars? Sounds promising.
There’s Naomi Campbell wearing Bacofoil…
… or Alexandra Burke singing a fairly generic verse chorus verse chorus verse chorus chorus R+B track.
Fearne has just told me to put down my food and gawp at the Saturdays…
…but they look like Fembots from Austin Powers and I’m just looking on in abject horror.
It’s revolving-door girl group Sugababes singing Santa Baby in a sultry fashion. I’m sure one of them just got replaced during the song…
What a shame that Top of the Pops’ “Sing Along” feature isn’t working for Killing in the Name…
The inevitable late afternoon lull is happening – little on TV, little resistance offered to tide of fatigue.
Strictly Come Dancing is too glittery and colourful right now. I need something more sedate, like the test card accompanied by Sigur Ros.
All Star Mr and Mrs vs Eastenders at 8pm; have ITV just given up trying to get people to watch their channel?
Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without festive woe in E20.
Is Eastenders always this slow paced? I’m just waiting for the 24-esque split screen to segue between scenes…
The slow pace is really overdoing the “SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN” element of the programme.
Christmas cheer Eastenders style – everyone screwing around in both senses of the word. How festive.
… and the shoutfest begins in Eastenders.
Eastenders is becoming like the shittest version of Cluedo ever. It’ll be Chas and Dave with the hacksaw in the pantry.
It takes some skill to have a frame of suspects so wide and still make the storyline plausible. Shame Eastenders failed re: the latter.
It was like parents’ evening at a school – everyone had Archie in neat five minute slots.
Wait… didn’t a big bust of Queen Victoria land on his head an hour ago?
For a light-hearted comedy, Gavin and Stacey is providing few laughs. That said, Doris playing the Smiths was pretty amusing.
Is the appeal of Gavin and Stacey that they speak in ‘funny’ accents? I can’t escape the feeling that I’m missing something, that’s all.
So, that’s over for the year. Eastenders proved that Christmas is all about rape, murder and weddings. I expected nothing less.
Alexander Britton
